How to do it:

Start by considering the people you already know. Older, disabled or single relatives may need help. Young families with children in day care are also often tapped. Consider friends who are furloughed or have been laid off, too. They may not be used to needing help, or think to seek it. Take them to lunch and chat about life. Wait until later to propose helping.

Nearly all of us will have candidates at this point. That’s how bad things are. If you don’t, consider making an offer, with boundaries, in a Buy Nothing or other mutual aid group. State how many people you can support, and what you can do.

Set Boundaries and Ask Questions

• Be up-front about what you can afford to do. Are you offering to share paper goods from Costco, or to buy all their groceries until SNAP returns?
• How much contact will be included? Are you dropping groceries on the door, or are you inviting them to dinner every Friday night?
• If your situation changes, how much notice will you give them? Two deliveries? A month?
• What do you want from them? A list of allergies? A shopping list?
• Do their kids normally eat certain brands? Nutritious food respects dignity.
• Are there pets they need help feeding?

If you are approaching someone who hasn’t asked for help, be sensitive. Consider less obvious help initially : bringing over dinner or dropping off an “accidental purchase” from Costco can be entry points. (“I forgot I already bought a bale of TP and I have NOWHERE for this…”) Be respectful of dignity. Many people who will need help have not needed it before. We are taught those who need charity should be grateful for what they get, but remember that small comforts like a familiar brand of cereal go a long way to maintaining dignity and self-respect, especially for parents.

You do not have to subsidize all their needs to be helpful, and you are allowed to protect your own interests. Do be prepared to tighten your belt to make help possible. That’s how this works: we all get by with less, so that nobody goes with nothing.