How to do it:

First consider the idea of debt generously. Is there someone who helped you through a hard time, and you’ve never figured out how to say thank you? Maybe you feel guilty that you had a college fund and so many others didn’t, or that you benefited from intergenerational wealth due to privilege. Perhaps you have guilt over something that isn’t really financial — something you did (or didn’t do) to someone when you were at a different point in your life.

Sit for five minutes with a pad of paper and jot down every debt you can think of, even if it seems absurd or impossible to repay. Perhaps there was a teacher who really helped you in second grade but you don’t even remember his name. Write down everything you think of!

Choose one item. It could be the one that you feel worst about, or it might be one that’s embarrassing but simple, like forgetting to send a graduation gift…two years ago. How you pay down debt depends on your personality. Some people like to start with the biggest obstacles, while others like to build momentum.

Once you’ve chosen what you’ll clear, get creative about how to do it.

If it is a specific person and you can make amends directly, reach out to them (if it won’t compound harm) and make an offer. Don’t try to match the amount directly — consider “pain and suffering” and give thought to what would feel positive to the recipient. Sometimes “Here’s the $20 I didn’t give you last month” works, and sometimes it feels worse than moving on. If it’s the latter, consider “I forgot to pay you for lunch last month. Can I take you to lunch soon, my treat?” Don’t forget your wallet!

If it’s a specific person but you can’t or shouldn’t reach out to them, think about what the debt means to you. Did they do something at a time you were down and out? Donate to a fund for people in similar situations. Was it an adult to made a difference when you were a kid? Donate time or school supplies to a local school. You see the idea…look for the energy of the gift you received, and regift it.

Finally, consider more general debt repayment like donations to a local tribe (some have “Real Rent” for homeowners on colonized land) or a donation to an organization that supports Black students, entrepreneurs or others. If you used to underpay your off-book gardener, donate to an immigrant support fund. Again, we’re looking to match energy, not specifics.