How to do it:

Guage what’s meaningful to family, either through dialogue ahead of time, or implement a polling system through the current season: rate each tradition “1-5” as soon as it ends. At the end of the season, let each person choose two things that are “must-haves” and won’t get cut, then use the ratings to make some changes. The specifics depend on your holidays and traditions, so here are some ideas to get you started:

Discuss gift giving

• Consider limiting adult gift exchanges
• Let people ask for what they really want, and believe them
• Give practical splurges as gifts: a massage, meal out, or Lyft voucher
• Give personal service. Specify boundaries: three hours of house-cleaning, scheduled by mutual agreement. Four favorite meals in the freezer, ready to reheat.
• Give children experiences: a day at the zoo or pizza night on request
• Consolidate gift giving: set a price range and let each person choose something they really want. Bundle resources to buy it.
• Shop at local stores, craft fairs and side-gigs. Support your neighbors
• Every time you’re tempted to buy a cheap or gag gift, put the price in a jar instead. After the holidays, give the money to someone who didn’t get what they really wanted, as a start.

Plan meaningful events

• Many families accrete traditions long past utility. Review critically.
• Check with older children to see if they still enjoy old traditions.
• Make sure you have at least a few cost-free activities. Check your library for free events, or check a local event guide for regional celebrations
• Help a friend or neighbor, and make it social. Have cocoa after you finish putting the lights up, and schedule a day in January to take them down before you leave!
• Plan casual, even practical events. A cookie exchange, gift-wrapping open-house (a table with supplies and some snacks), etc.
• Plan a day of resistance, if your family is like-minded: include your Senator in your holiday card mailing, or go caroling at charity offices.

Reconnect with your heritage

• Find our how your great-grandparents celebrated, and incorporate those ideas
• Visit a museum that documents the place your family originated
• Find a charity related to your heritage and raise funds for it
• Create a book of family stories by interviewing living relatives and their friends. Give copies to family members as gifts, or make it a group project.

Make your gift budget do double-duty

• Buy t-shirts or totebags from places that fuel the resistance like NPR or NorCal Resists.
• Explore charity offerings. Saving the Blue is partially funded with photography worthy of museum framing. Your local zoo likely sells fun toys your grandkids would like.
• Buy jewelry or pins with symbols: RGB’s dissent collar, rainbow or pride items (look for a local queer artist.)
• Gift subscriptions to news sources you value.
• Gift a membership at a co-op, maker’s space or other community resource.
• Gift food to help the budget. Create your own meal-kits, or find fun, local good gifts like “spice bombs“. (No affiliation — we just live nearby.)
• We keep a running list of ideas here.